YOU CAN NEVER THANK YOUR MOTHER ENOUGH

You can never thank your mother enough.

I read this while riding on the subway into work one day. My wife and I had recently had our second child and I was feeling twitchy about my job. “Twitchy” means I was thinking about finding something else to do other than dressing up in a suit and tie, hopping on the train to the city and sitting in my little cubicle each day.

The guy who said this thing about thanking your mother was a Buddhist Geshe. He was speaking to an audience of monks and lay people and when I read his words they were very meaningful to me sitting there on the train riding into work.

It got me thinking about my kids and moms and everything they do.

My wife and I, along with our infant son and 4 year old daughter had all just had the flu. Together, at the same time. Our temperatures had all climbed over 102 and at one point I think my wife and I were hovering at 104. There was a point where I had been holding the baby because my wife was in bed and I had gone into the kitchen to do something. I’m not sure what I had planned but I realized I was dizzy and that it would probably be a good idea to hand over the baby before I fell down.

We realized it was time to call my wife’s mother, who lived nearby, and ask her to come over and help us.

Of course she came over. She took over the feeding and care of our daughter and infant son. Julie and I slept like you do when all you can think about and hope for is that moment when you climb into bed and close your eyes. It’s hard to describe the depth of our gratitude and of course both our kids thoroughly enjoyed the impromptu visit from their grandmother. It felt like a miracle.

How many parents don’t have someone they can call when things get really hard?

We had both gone as far as we thought we could. We considered ourselves good parents but were unsure what to do next. Then my wife’s mom appeared and just for a few moments we were able to let go, and recover. Some might say it was a small thing but to us, at the time, it wasn’t.

So when I read, “You can never thank your mother enough.”, it was very moving, particularly when the Geshe elaborated on all of the infinitely small things that are done for us day after day. I thought of the diaper that had been changed that morning, the infinite number of diaper changes going back, the meals prepared, the little scrapes and booboos patched, the conversations and explanations of things frightening and weird, the time spent reading, bathing and cuddling and the host of other things that had been done with love and I thought yeah, it’s probably true, you can never thank your mother enough.

I’m sure every mom feels “twitchy” about being a mom from time to time. It’s probably inevitable. There are bad mothers. Mothers who don’t want to be mothers, mothers who are in trouble and mothers who are prevented from being the mother they would like to be. These things happen and it is very sad. But if your mother brought you into this world and cared for you and gave you this chance at life then it is more likely than not that you should be grateful and thank them.