AMBITION

I was getting into a Lyft the other day when I said to Julie,
“You know, I think I’ve spent most of my adult life working for rackets.”
She looked at me a bit strangely,
Not unfamiliar with me saying strange things like this,
And waiting for me to say more.
I said, “yeah, all of them”,
The big corporations, the arts organizations, the spiritual groups,
All of them were the same,
Bosses at the top, everyone trying to learn how to say and do the right things.
Rackets.
That’s what they were.
I did all that, got good at it, skillful even.
Hovering around, hoping for my piece/peace,
Fights breaking out over turf and insights,
There were some good people and bad people.
It felt important.
I don’t know what would have happened,
If not for my family and friends,
The cadence of gathering over the years,
Things I blindly insisted upon without really knowing why,
The meals and moments that drew us together,
In some shape that none of us devised or made,
But all of us created.
There we all were again, sitting around the table,
Sharing what we’d found in the world out there,
Feeling love and frustration,
Wondering if we’d grown at all.
Then,
Suddenly,
Relinquishing ambition,
To love, laughter, hugs and warmth.